I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
