its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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