I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
