dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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