Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
