OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
