Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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