Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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