Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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