Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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