she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
