it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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