he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
