We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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