Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
