So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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