Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
