I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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