I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
