i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
