Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
