One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
