idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
