i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
