some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
