Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Drunk is not a location!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
