if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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