At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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