because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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