Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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