is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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