pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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