that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
