1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
