is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
