I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
