Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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