Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
