5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We got so high we made milksteak
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
