I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
