Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
