Im at strip club and am horny
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
