i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
