Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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