it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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