Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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