I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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