i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
