she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
