i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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