Cold hands, warm shart.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
