sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
