Having a random hookup so left but love u
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The beer is more important than you right now.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
